i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
