I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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