remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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