may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize