I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
