My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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