I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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