What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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