And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
