Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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