And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
