she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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