I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
