I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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