The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
