I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
