you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
