Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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