Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
