you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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