did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
