Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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