I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
