on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
