my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
