Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
