Christians are straight up FREAKS
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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