Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
