my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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