Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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