Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
