shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We are all done wearing pants today
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
