I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
