Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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