He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
