Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
