i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize