you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
