I just pynch a tree in the face
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
