Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
