We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
