GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Still dying that you shit outside
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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