Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
