So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
