:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
