You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I fill condoms, not promises.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
