I just pynch a tree in the face
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
