have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
