a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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