I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You can't special order awesome
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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