That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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