It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
