And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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