left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize