I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
