Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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