I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
