I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
