Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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