Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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