worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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