hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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