can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
