Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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